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What is anger?

Anger is the force of our Being being misused by our Ego. E.g. Jealousy/Narcissism don’t have force, so they use Anger to get their point across.

So which egos call upon anger? Greed, Lust, Selfishness, Attachment, Gluttony, Jealousy, Envy, Fear, Self-deprecation, Feeling of inadequacy, Shame, Self-pity, Feeling of injustice, Self-destruction, Impatience, Frustration, Hostility, Restlessness, Obsession with justice, Intolerance, Self-importance, Stubbornness, Arrogance, Narcissism, Manipulation, Insecurity, Pride, Need for control, Perfectionism... to name but a few! If an ego needs force, it can call upon anger to make himself heard.

Anger Ego

How to deal with anger?

Here are a few tips on how to deal with anger:

  • Take a walk. Anger over pumps the mental and emotional centers, so go for a walk or do some breathing exercises to activate our motor center and transfer the energy from the other ones.
  • Anger comes from within. No one can 'make us feel' anger but ourselves. If we think that others are causing our anger, then we are powerless to change our situation, because we think anger comes from others and we can't stop it (external locus of control). But anger actually comes from inside of us, we create it and we can end it.
  • Deconstruct anger. Which egos are calling upon it to gain force? What is triggering the anger, specifically?
  • Be content. Anger is often triggered because the world has not met our expectations, so we try to control/change things and people around us to realign them. Expecting things to be the way we want or people to behave the way we expect is a recipe for disappointment. Instead of trying to change the world so that it meets our expectations and we can be happy, we can accept and learn to appreciate things as they are. They are much more beautiful when they are free anyway.
  • Maintain perspective. When we get angry, it's easy to lose perspective. Suddenly we only see the act the other person did which we didn't like, and we lose sight of all the beautiful things that they have done. We judge the whole person based on 1%. We think that 1% is the person. E.g. we don't see a person who has committed a sin, we see a sinner.
  • Replace anger with compassion. Instead of hating the other person, we can focus on feeling compassion for their suffering. It’s a big temptation to respond to anger with anger! However, if we do that, we have already lost. The easiest thing is for us to lower our level of consciousness and react violently, but every time we – through strong determination and restraint – are able to remain peaceful and feel compassion instead, our Consciousness gains space over our ego.
  • Forgive. If the person we are angry at had done the act that made us angry because he had a mental illness for example, we would not be angry, rather we would forgive them because they did not know what they were doing. Ego is just like a mental illness, making people do acts blinded by ego, without knowing what they are doing, and we have the capability to forgive them as well.
  • Anger hurts us first. Trying to hurt others by feeling angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The first person to be punished by our anger is us, and not the other.
  • Let go of anger. We can be very attached to anger, as weird as that may seem. We hold on to it because we are afraid that if we let go, the other person gets away with what we have done. But the other person will not be off the hook even if we let go of anger, because they will still suffer because of their own ego (e.g. shame, guilt) and also because of karma anyway.
  • Trust the Universe. We are in each situation because the universe has offered us a chance to learn something, grow, become a better person and fulfil our destiny. The Universe can’t be wrong… And if it could, we´d have MUCH bigger problems to worry about than anger.