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How many times have we had a bad night sleep and had that put us in a bad mood for the rest of the day? Or started the day feeling really good, but then had someone throw harsh angry words at us and that completely shifted the way we felt? Or were feeling quite happy but then saw our lover with another person, and then obsessed about it for hours on end? Or the opposite, met a beautiful person who we deeply love, and they just smiled at us and made our whole day worthwhile? 

 

Truth is, for many of us, all sorts of external factors are determining our happiness and state of mind. That is because - at least to an extent - we have an external locus of control, which means that on a number of occasions, we allow our surroundings to dictate our state of being, rather than having our Consciousness define them. It is possible to say "Today I will feel [XYZ] all day long" (whether that is happiness, love, excitement or whatever it may be), and then feel it. That requires changing our locus of control from external to internal. And then we will take control of our own lives and live them the way we intend to regardless of what happens around us. We will have the freedom how we would like to feel, and not how other people or circumstances make us feel.

 

One of the easiest lies we tell other people is "You made me feel [XYZ]". That is never true, because no one can make us feel anything. That's why some people can be very calm when others are arguing with them, and others will become angry too. How we feel in entirely up to us, the only person can only go as far as giving us triggers for us to feel or act in a certain way. But whether we actually do depends on us. If someone is screaming at us, we can choose to be upset, but we can also choose to feel compassion instead, for the negative effect that the anger is having on the other person and because they don't know any better. What struggles are they going through that make them act defensive, is fear driving them or is it pride, that is there because deep down they don't believe in themselves and because of that feel the need to prove themselves to everyone else? There can be millions of reasons behind someone else acting in a certain way, the fact is that we don't know them, we may never know, and it is even likely that the person doesn't know themselves. And if they have absolutely no reasons apart from trying to impact other people's lives negatively, we can choose to look at them with compassion, because of the consequences of the karma that are creating for themselves.

The following quote has different versions and its authorship seems to be shared by different people. 

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway."